What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
