also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
