You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
This is the high leading the old right now
The air was thick with penises
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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