Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
