doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
