11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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