he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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