do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
