you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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