If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
