You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
