Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
