Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
