Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
