Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
your like the ambassador to my penis.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
