what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
