I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
