Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
