I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
