you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
