is wine microwaveable?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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