Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
