I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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