just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
