smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
