Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
