Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize