You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
