They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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