Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i think my cat just said my name.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
