I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
