The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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