Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
