At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
she pinky promised me she was 18
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Houston, we have a blender
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
