What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
