dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
why is half of my head shaved?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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