Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
