Michael Bay diarrhea
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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