dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
