so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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