I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
