Me. At least after what I've been through.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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