even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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