his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Randomize
