There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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