i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
