I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
