Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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