If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
