i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
