I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
