I didn't shave. On purpose
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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