was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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