Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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