Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
