the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
